What I learnt the year I became a mum

I was pregnant when I qualified as a nutritional therapist. I graduated, burgeoning bump, full of enthusiasm and newly acquired knowledge, threw my mortar board in the air – the whole nine yards. I was good to go.

Six months later, shattered into tiny pieces by a baby that didn’t sleep for more than about forty-five minutes at a time, I was not so shiny. Less good to go, and more stunned into near silence. And I certainly wasn’t looking after myself.

That knowledge I had happily spent three years gathering had fallen into the same deep neglected pit as regular meals and brushing my teeth every day.

I never finished a meal. I rarely ate without bub in my arms, usually attached to a boob. I never finished a cup of tea. I have no recollection whatsoever of my diet that year. Vague memories of my mum putting a sandwich in front of me… but my appetite was minimal. I gained a lot of weight in pregnancy and it fell off me.

I wasn’t well.

I poured every ounce of energy into my beautiful boy. I didn’t matter.

Except of course, I did.

So many mums that come to see me echo my experience. When they come to me it’s usually 6-12 months post-partum. If their baby has slept well, they will have fared much better than those whose have not, but the sentiment is the same. “I’m so tired. I just want to feel better. More like me again.”

I became a mum pre-Instagram. Social media can be a place where mums can find support and solace in the fact that their experience is universal. It feels hard because it IS hard. We all struggle at times. But even today, most pregnancy focus is on the tiny human who’ll soon be earthbound. There’s not a lot of discussion in your midwife appointments about maternal well-being, and post-natal recovery (apart from “Buy an inflatable ring to sit on.”)

Post-natal depletion was a phrase I only heard comparatively recently after I read the book of the same title by Dr Serrallach. It stands to reason that we need to recover from birth, but what does that look like?

In the fourth trimester it looks like healing foods brought to you by loved ones – ideally. Or creating an online shopping list pre-baby, filled with stock cupboard staples and fresh fruit and vegetables, whole grains and mum-cheats that you can just order on repeat each week. It’s a heartfelt request for a simple meal to be brought by friends asking, “What can I bring?”, instead of “Oh, don’t worry, we’re fine, just bring yourself!” No, mama, say, “Can’t wait to see you! Bring a casserole!”

And then? Relearning what you now need and how to get those nutrients into your body. Discovering you CAN have a good diet even when you have a toddler hanging off your leg, bawling, or primary school kids with afterschool clubs and playdates that have you racing around like the personal assistant of a Kardashian. And if you can find a way to nourish yourself as well as your family, everyone benefits. Happy mum, happy family.

My niche as the Knackered Mums Nutritionist was born of my experience in those early years. When my first son was just 2, I had our second son. 2012 is kind of a blur. I remember watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics between getting up and down (and up) to see to the babies. And I have a lovely memory of putting up the tree at Christmas. In between, not-so-much. Two babies. One with eczema. One with silent reflux. I slept upright with a baby on me for another year.

I learnt that knowing what mums need to feel better and actually getting them to where they needed to, weren’t the same thing. Mums are unique in their needs because they never prioritise their own health and their focus is always their family. Within that, and given the constraints on their time and energy, they need to find ways to eat better. Easier. Healthier. With ease. AND NO GUILT.

It goes beyond diet. Self-compassion is about more than acknowledging that getting through most days on a diet of coffee, crisps and biscuits is doing your body a disservice, it’s saying No, it’s asking for help, it’s adjusting what we expect of ourselves on a daily basis.

That’s my job. Replenishment, rebalancing, hacks, tips, simple recipes, mum prep… all together, with my empathy and experience, these things will make a huge difference to how you feel. To how you live.

My first year as a mum was incredibly humbling and often overwhelming. But I found my niche and now I’m so proud to make a difference to the lives of the tired mamas who come to me.

If you’d like to chat about working together to transform how you feel each day, book a FREE chat here.